Only make decisions that support your self-image, self-esteem, and self-worth. - Oprah Winfrey
Not being able to decide is a very frustrating place to be. Indecision shows up for a number of factors. Sometimes we are paralyzed by fear. Other times we are looking at a decision that requires we compromise our values in some way. And sometimes we are just faced with so many decisions that we become overwhelmed. Whatever the reason, indecision sucks. Let's take a look at some thing that make for a really good decision.
1. Start With The End In Mind
Goal setting is useful in all aspects of our lives big and small. Start asking yourself the questions that are going to clarify your goals. For example, what is the overall feel you want to have in your home? It will make picking paint colors easier if you want your home to feel calm versus cheerful. And for the bigger stuff like "Where should I invest my money?" start thinking about what guides your investment decisions. Is it a particular amount of money? Maybe you are more interested in only investing in companies that share your values.
Big or small, it's important to start asking questions to clarify your goals.
2. Set Fear Aside
From my experience, making decisions from fear has just not turned out that well for me. This article from Bustle breaks down the term "decidaphobia" which was coined in 1973. Fear can stop us from moving forward. In order to make good decisions we all have to develop habits that reduce our anxieties and allow us to feel safe in our lives. Once fear has been removed, your real motives can goals can shine through and guide you to the perfect choice.
3. Make Decisions With Your Wellbeing As A Focus
Are you someone that always makes decisions with others in mind? Possibly you are the biggest people pleaser you know. Well, coming to therapy...or reading this blog is a big reminder to stop that. Yes it's good to be nice. Yes it's good to keep people in mind. But your decisions should always be guided from a place of self love first. Remember, just like I tell my clinicians and my clients- You are the most important person in the room, wherever you go.
Before we wrap up I just want to take a look at one more thing. Maybe you are in a situation where you really want to make a relationship better or maybe you want to move forward with something but in reality you have dome everything you can. In those moments it's important to remember that your deicison-making isn't flawed...rather, it's your ability to manage uncertainty that needs a closer look. To manage uncertainty is to tame your fear. And after all, the reality is, all of us are walking around just trying to figure things out the best way we can. We cannot predict the future and we can only do what we believe is best with the most information we have. Beyond that, our practice is to let go.
How well do you manage uncertainty?
Tell me what you think in the comments below...